Title:New Kid in
Town Summary: The AnyFamily moves to a new town and Mark has a hard time fitting in.
Charcters: New Kid dancers; Louis the bandgeek;
Commercials: 1-555-Lonley; Cred-a-friend;
Sketches: TV shows (he's a ninja, she's a nun, and they're both cops; Wheel of Fortune with Dan Quayle; Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful, hate me cause I'm conceited; Spanish home shopping network); Totally Pauly Simon World Tour; Mutual of OhMyGosh Wild Kingdom; Cool Dude Bootcamp; New Kid Tricks (pep rally, etc); Network Saturday Morning shows (tortoises, iguanas, koalas, etc); MC Hamster;
Songs:
Title:You Can't Fire
Your Family Summary: When Dom and Crystal get annoyed with their family, they enter a contest and win a new one.
Characters: Don Pardone; Bill Cosby; Dan Quayle; Ed McMayonnaise;
Commercials: The Sympathizer from Hasbeen Bro; Home Dentistry Kit; Stashmatic adjustable bed; Hand Me Down Syndrome;
Sketches: Meeting the family (dad, mom, sister, older brother, grandma); Dadnet; TV Dad Central; The Siblings Court; Grounded Boy!; Moral Decay on Saturday Morning TV; Jennifer's intolerance of milk;
Songs:
We're A
Family (John Crane, Shawn Daywalt, Crystal Lewis, David Sidoni)
Title:Last One
Picked Summary: When Dom is picked last, he tries to convince himself it isn't such a bad thing.
Characters: Jody Spody;
Commercials: Share Jordans; Cheaties; SheBock pump training bra; Split Center for Cheer-a-holics; Stink Ups; Sports Illuminated; The incredible phone sneaker; Chair Jordans; Hosewater; Body Blenders;
Sketches: Blunder Years; Paula Abdul-Jabar; Sports Illuminated Swimsuit issue; Synchronized Swimming; A Little League of Their Own; 90210 (jock itch);
Songs:
Flop Sweat (Dominic Lucero)
I Can Dream (Crystal Lewis)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Mark: Some people are great at sports, some people are good, some people are so-so, and some people really suck hosewater.
Title:Individuality Summary: Dom likes Crystal. He asks her out, and she accepts. On their date, he makes fun of a streak in her hair, and she dumps him!
Characters: Dudes; Dudettes;
Commercials: Booger Bran; Schtick Center; Mygen Toyito Jackson; Bag Your Face; Don't Scratch There Institute of middle class values; the dating match
Sketches: Empty V; Cool-Aid Concert; Paula Abdul Unplugged; Black Elvis;
Songs:
Be A Rebel (Ivan Dudynsky, Dominic Lucero, David Sidoni)
Only Want To Be Me (Crystal Lewis)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Title:School Daze Summary:
Characters: Principle Bose; Ms Reichert; Vice Principle Peavey;
Commercials: Yes, My dog actually DID eat my homework! (by excuseco); Disobedience cologne; Mayonnaise Helper; Parent-Teacher conference (plus translation);
Sketches: Little Shop Teacher of Horrors; Mrs Jennifer Marky Mark (etc); Fieldtrip of Dreams; New Age Math; Ready Letter from Slugmasters; the REALLY hard math test;
Songs:
Substitution
Sex Education
Ivan Moments:
He sings.
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Notes: This episode was choreographed
by Ivan.
Title:Abusement
Park Summary: The family takes a trip to the amusement park. When Dad spends all the family's money on a hotdog, he gets a job that embarrasses Crystal in front of her crush, Dom. Crystal is mad at Dad until she realizes he was only trying to help.
Characters: Dylan Mark Chadley; Millie
Commercials: The umbilical cord bungee dive; Interstate House of Pancakes; Whoopi! I'm next;
Sketches: "I'm drinking milk"; Star Trek; Bratman; useful phrases to make the highway of boredom fly by; Popularity World; The Relator; Momnivision; Smoggy from the fire prevention commercials; Doofy Dog;
Songs:
Self Conscious (Mark David, Natalie Nucci)
Do Not Care (Crystal Lewis)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Notes: This episode was choreographed
by Ivan.
Title:TV on Trial Summary: The family's TV is put on trial when it's accused of airing bad programming.
Characters: --
Commercials: Cardboardvox; Stuff It Honey; 555-It'sEd; Hull; Real TV Dinners; Bagel Boy Jeans; Thigh Master Juicer; Melrose Plates;; Sufferin; Winky Martindale School of TV Announcing;
Sketches: Lots of brief TV snippets; Down and Out in Beverly Hills 90210; Monster truck thing; Star Trek; Exercise Program;
Songs:
TV Head
Don't Make Me Give It Up (John Crane, Crystal Lewis, Shawn
Daywalt)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Notes: This episode was choreographed
by Ivan.
Title:Politics Summary: Sid decides to run for class president, and gets stressed out over the competition.
Characters: Principle Bose; Dudes; Totally Jane Pauly; Jeff Anykid; Lex Lunchroom; Louis the bandgeek;
Commercials: Kitties 'N Bits; Big Hair in a Can; I'm a Heartthrob, You're a Heartthrob; The Art of Quitting (Ross Perot); Dissaparent;
Sketches: Travelling music; the world of "what if"; investigation of the candidate (but I didn't inhale!); student assembly; Arsenio Hall Monitor; Popularity Chart;
Songs:
I Hate Big Books (Seymour Willis Green)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Notes: This episode was choreographed
by Ivan.
Title:The Economy Summary: Times are bad in AnyTown and the family has to adjust to their income deficit.
Characters: Robin Leech; Grandma; Dan Quayle; Money Man
Commercials: Lifestyles of the poor and relatively Obscure; National Chair-ographic Explorer; Slavon Cosmetics; Wonderful World of Pork;
Sketches: Crazy Daddy; American Depressed Card; Recession Cologne; Shoe Shams; Bare Jordans; Recession Concessions (movie theatre);
Songs:
Higher (Mark David)
Still Waiting For Love (Shawn Daywalt)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Notes: This episode was choreographed
by Ivan.
Title:The School
Play Summary:
Characters: Principle Bose; Melissa (competitor); Arnold Schwarzenhousen; Jody; Dr. Lorita Curren;
Commercials: LeeHigh's 5001 Behemas; Hurtz Flee Flogger; The new Rapper from BroCo; My Buttocks My Friend; Whities; IP&P Crank Calling Card; Press On Lips from Flee; Booger Blockers from SnotCo;
Sketches: Transitions;
Songs:
Stage Mother (David Sidoni)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Title:The Bully Summary: A bully picks on Dom at school.
Characters: Bully; Bully Cheerleaders; "Dudes"; "Mominator";
Commercials: Bully Side airbag (and airbag deflation device); annoying announcer guy (Mark); Cal Washington (new image); Sugar Frosted Cocoa Honey Sweetened Caramel Fudgies;
Sketches: Game-"How Stupid Am I?"; "Paula Abdul edited into the movies we'd really love to see her in"; Lifestyles of the Fake and Stuck up (with Sally Spinole); Coward to Kid II; Name that Song;
Songs:
I'm The Bully (David Sidoni)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Title:Time Summary: The cast goes through the year in 24 minutes, 38 seconds...37...36.
Characters: Dr. Lorita Curren;
Commercials: Groundhog Day; Barbo; Half-hearted Valentines; Stamp-ons from Slugmaster (yearbook); First United Capitol Federal Regional Imperial Republican Confederate National Union Savings and Trust; Talk Waiting; Telequick (the new microwave TV); Blood Dry; Hellraiser Freddie the 13th Halloween Chainsaw massacre on elmstreet..12!; annual Christmas sale at Needless Markup; Cash Day (spend every cent you've got);
Sketches: Video Valentine; Mother's Day; Growing Pains; Cosmos (w/ Carl Sagan) (showing rate of growth); Land of amazon girls; Dad's president's day barbeque;
Songs:
Take Time, Make Time (Micki Duran, Crystal Lewis, Alfred Carr
Jr)
Times (Shawn Daywalt, Crystal Lewis, Natalie Nucci)
Ivan Moments:
Ivan Quotes:
Other Quotes:
Title:Beauty
Pageant Summary:
Characters: Gary Squallid; Mary Joe Bobby Sue Jeannie Beth Parker; Miss Informed; Miss Demeaner (tori o'donnell);
Commercials: Boyfriend in a Bottle; Hide and Go Freak (portable cave from shameco); Oil of Okay; Electiperm 2000; Pest Off; McSluff the Crime Dog; Toilet Paper Back Novels; Mad Max Factor;
Sketches: The Miss American International Universal I Look Better Than You Pageant!; a week of beauty pageant activities (insomnia hotel, waste county trade facility, I can't believe it's weasel!, shoes provided by the american council for sharp things made out of glass); Not the mole, not the lips, not the uhh..; backstage at the pageant (micki & crystal); Jon Ban Jovi; talent competition of the beauty pageant; pageant speeches;
Songs:
